Year of the Spark: October 30
by Sparky Army
Summary: After everything this man had done to her it didn't feel right that be here. The Year of the Spark continues.


_We, the Sparky Army, decree 2008 to be the Year of the Spark. We pledge to post a new sparky story or chapter of a sparky story every day from January 1, 2008 to December 31, 2008. Though the Powers that Be have removed Elizabeth Weir from the regular cast of Stargate Atlantis, we feel that she remains an integral part of the show, and that the relationship between her and John Sheppard is too obvious to be ignored. We hope that you, and anyone might happen to read these works, agree._

_And if that isn't official enough for you, we don't know what is. Seriously, guys, we're just trying to have some fun--and show TPTB that Sparky is the way to go. So sit back and enjoy the 366 stories coming your way!_

Authors Note (Hannah554): A little bit of angst now, finally, after that fluff.

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**A Ghost From Her Past**

_By Hannah554_

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He wasn't sure how the man had the nerve to show up here now, after what he had done to Elizabeth it seemed wrong that he come here. He half wished Sam was around instead of down in the lab with Rodney and Radek and though he knew he should turn around and leave he couldn't. He walked into Sam's office, the one that had once belonged to Elizabeth and in his mind always would. The man heard him enter and turned around, a guilty look on his face for having been caught here.

"I heard this was Elizabeth's office," he said to explain why he was there.

"It was," John replied forcing a neutral tone into his voice, it's what Elizabeth would want, what she would expect of him and whether or not she was here to see it he was going to give her that.

"You were there Colonel weren't you?" he asked and John tried and failed to block out the flurry of images that the simple question brought up. Elizabeth's body, battered and broken as Keller rushed her off to the infirmary. The image of her on the screen; all the strength that Elizabeth had always radiated gone. The mission, the damn mission that had taken her away from him, from all of them, the replicators surrounding her, taking her as Ronon pulled John away forcibly. Too many images, too many memories that would probably haunt him for the rest of his life.

"Yes I was there," was all the reply he was able to give.

"She must have loved it here," the man stated and John nodded his head.

"Atlantis was her home, its home to all of us; we'd give up almost anything for it." _Except her. _

"Part of me wishes I'd come here earlier," he said.

"And why are you here now Dr Wallace?" John asked, he was determined to understand why the man had come, now, after everything that had happened.

"It felt like something I had to do," Simon told him gazing around the office as though he was trying to see something about Elizabeth in it. He wouldn't though, he'd never seen it when it had belonged to her but John could see her in every part of it. He could see her sitting in that chair with her paper work; he could see the spot on the desk where she had placed the Athosian pot he'd bought her for her first birthday in this galaxy and the spot where her photo of Sedge had been. He could still remember all the times he'd wondered in here to find her working through lunch, all the conversations they'd had, important or trivial. He could hear her voice, full of authority as she gave orders or playful and almost seductive as she flirted with him, calling him out on every attempt he made.

"You won't be staying will you?" John asked though it was more of a statement, he'd come here as a new doctor but John knew he wouldn't stay.

"Probably not," Simon admitted studying John. "I've heard a lot of people talking, you were close to her."

It felt too personal for him to share with this man, even one who had been such a big part of Elizabeth's life. Simon hadn't known the woman John had, Elizabeth had changed so much in her time here and Simon had never seen that, never met that woman.

"We were good friends," John replied. If he could go back, if he could do it all again knowing what he knew now, they might have been more than that. He'd respected her, cared about her too much to risk their friendship and now he'd lost it anyway and he'd never know what could have been. It wasn't something he was willing to share with anyone though, especially not Simon.

Simon continued to study him, a knowing look on his face that John didn't like. He finally looked away, taking one last look around the office. "She's really gone isn't she?"

John hesitated but thankfully Simon didn't notice. Part of him still believed she was out there somewhere, part of him would believe that until he had undeniable proof to the contrary but everything pointed to her being gone. "Yeah, she's gone," he said, the words tasted bitter in his mouth and he wished he hadn't had to say them.

"I think that was all I needed," Simon stated "She was an amazing woman, I was lucky to have known her, lucky to have loved her in whatever way I had and I think Colonel... so were you."

Simon walked out of the office, leaving John to stand there and wonder just how obvious he actually was that even someone he'd known for five minutes could read him, at least that part of him. He looked at the office, remembering her, making sure every memory of her was still firmly imprinted on his mind.

If she was still out there he'd find her and so long as there was an even the smallest chance, he'd keep looking.


End file.
